OPD Statement About Clergy Sexual Abuse

In the wake of the news of the continuing abuse scandal in the local church, our founder and bishop has taken a leave-of-absence from sacramental ministry due to the aggravated emotional stress of the church's continued failure to address the problem of clergy sexual abuse. Please join us in praying for the victims and their families, which includes our bishop (who is also a survivor of years of clergy sexual abuse) and his family.

Below is the bishop's statement released last May concerning this dreadful topic.

May 6, 2010

I have been contacted by several members of the media who have requested that I make a public statement concerning my thoughts on the topic of clergy sexual abuse in the Catholic Church specifically in reference to lines taken from a letter I wrote to Pope Benedict XVI on 02 November 2009. The letter was part of a series of letters I wrote to the Holy Father in relation to my request to be reconciled to the See of Rome after being consecrated a bishop without a pontifical mandate. Because the subject of clergy sexual abuse is too serious a topic for me to provide a short “sound bite” to the media I have written this more appropriate detailed statement:

As a survivor of clergy sexual abuse who is also a consecrated bishop in the traditional Catholic rite seeking full communion with the Pope and the Roman Catholic Church I have a unique perspective on the subject. Sadly my perspective has been born out of much pain and personal inner struggle due to my once and continued abuse from the clergy and bishops of the Roman Catholic Church. Like many survivors of clergy sexual abuse I have wrestled with some very serious questions: How could men of God do this? How is it possible that bishops continue to cover up abuse? Why, after reporting my abuse do the clergy and bishops continue to reject me? Should I remain in the Roman Catholic Church at all or should I free myself from the abuse and oppression I have experienced in this community?

So many people have tried to get me to adopt a position that will fit neatly into some existing, pre-packaged public relations campaign that supports one specific group affected by the crisis of clergy sexual abuse. I cannot do that. My experience is unique and I must be honest about my opinions even if my opinions are not well-received by one group or another. I will not be a victim ever again in connection to sexual abuse, even a victim of public opinion.

For decades the bishops in the United States covered up proven sexual abuse committed by priests under their jurisdiction. This conference-wide conspiracy of cover-up made it possible for generations of abusive priests to victimize countless children in the United States, including myself. There is no excuse whatsoever for their actions. In my opinion the bishops in this country are more guilty than the abusers. Why? …because for the most part abusers were isolated individuals acting alone in deplorable secrecy, but the topic of how best to cover up their crimes and to intimidate their victims into silence was on the proverbial agenda of discussion topics in the backroom of every bishops conference for years. It was the most spoken about unspoken topic for decades. That fact that it was so easy for these men to discuss this evil without any regard for the emotional death it caused children and families…quite frankly makes me want to vomit. How any bishop who participated in this cover up is still in power defies all reason.

I believe that the response of the bishops after the widespread crisis was exposed by the American media was just as deplorable as their cover-up. Here’s what I mean: Instead of admitting their evil, repenting, and fixing the problem, they washed their hands like Pontius Pilate and dumped the mess in the lap of civil authorities. Speaking from personal experience, prosecutors and diocesan attorneys often re-victimize the abuse survivors by their aggressive investigative tactics. I for one was not ready to make my abuse public. (Even this statement is only the “tip of the iceberg” of the details of my experiences as a child and teenager…not-to-mention the years of isolation and sexual intimacy and trust issues I found myself nearly drowning in. I’m no longer ashamed of talking about the period of sexual degradation I put myself through in trying to heal from my abuse, but this statement is not the moment to articulate those details.) When I reported my abuse I needed a loving shepherd, a pastor to help me deal with my nightmares, but no such man was to be found in the Roman Catholic Church. Instead I was humiliated by being forced to give statements to civil authorities and a diocesan lawyer. I couldn’t handle such pressure and told the diocese that I didn’t want my most humiliating experiences to be public knowledge, but no one cared. So, I only told a few details of my abuse hoping that I would be able to retain some of my personal dignity.

When I tried to speak to my spiritual director (a priest of the diocese) about what was going on, he turned me away telling me he could no longer meet with me. I then received a letter from the diocesan attorney stating that I was barred from having any contact with the priests of the diocese. So the Roman Catholic Church’s response to my abuse was to cut me off from any and all pastoral help and at the same time expel my entire religious community from parish life. They did offer me secular counseling. In fact the “victim assistance coordinator” for the diocese of Camden reached out to me by calling my secular employer and leaving a message for me with a co-worker. Her message was very detailed. In fact she told my co-worker exactly who she was and why she was trying to reach me! By the time I returned from my lunch break my abuse was the topic of discussion at my workplace. You can imagine how much this helped my healing process.

In my experience the bishops have made this crisis worse not only by their initial inaction but by their subsequent heartless response to the public scandal. I’m not fooled by the “prevention programs” and the agreements of understanding with civil authorities because I know how the Church really handles these issues. The cover-ups and abuse continue. In the Diocese of Camden the tactics to limit a victim’s ability to recover are despicable. The bishops have simply found new ways to conceal the abuse and the mistreatment victims receive from dioceses. It’s worse now than it was before the scandal broke, believe me. The difference is that they have found a way to use civil authorities as pawns and to manipulate public opinion. When are we going to wake up and realize that the generation of priest abusers who never got caught have become the current generation of bishops and that they are using their new Episcopal power combined with all the intimidation skills they learned as abusers to find new ways to punish victims and silence the people of God? They are experts in intimidation. As bishops they are simply finding new ways to rape the people of God. If you think that is an extreme opinion, just travel the Roman Church in America and talk to the people.

One sad effect of the bishops’ continued cover-up is the devastating financial impact the scandal has had on many dioceses throughout the country. Even though I do not support the idea of suing dioceses seeking monetary damages, I understand the motivation of victims and their attorneys. The Church has left little other recourse for victims. Where no money amount can ever make a victim of sexual abuse whole again, victims deserve a just compensation for their pain. Money should not be that compensation, but when love is at a premium in the Church money is the only viable worldly substitute. What is so disturbing is that fact that bishops (most of whom are independently wealthy) seem to have no problem raping the pocketbooks of the same families whose children have already been physically raped by their priests. I do not understand how it is acceptable in the Church for bishops to sell off parish churches and empty the coffers of long standing financially secure communities to pay for their crimes and then to condemn parishioners who fight against their efforts to plunder historic faith communities. The situation in the Diocese of Camden is a heart wrenching example of the Church’s failure to protect God’s flock from the rapists who have infiltrated the ranks of bishops. I have been forced to stand by, powerless to help my diocese…and watch her parishes crumble before my eyes because no one in the Church cares to intervene. The subculture of rapism cultivated by priests and bishops has emotionally crippled one generation of Catholics and financially crippled another. And while we are all busy dealing with the abuse crisis and its litigated aftermath no one has noticed that it has produced a societal generation that wants to keep its children as far away as possible from any priest. (…not to mention the discreetly engineered real estate scams that have made countless bishops wealthier in this country)

I make it a point to wear my religious habit or my clerical collar as often as I can in order to be available to anyone who needs spiritual support. I have lost count of the times that mothers have pulled their children close to them when they see me in public simply because it has become reasonable to equate a priest’s collar with sexual abuse. You have no idea how painful that is for me. I would gladly take my last earthly breath if it would end the pain of sexual abuse in the Church (as I’m sure most victims would if it could protect other children from what we have experienced), so to be put in the same category with abusers is like being told that it’s my fault that I was abused. It’s like being forced to pay for the sins of the men who abused me because the priest collar is no longer a sign of loving service but a scarlet letter. So many friends have tried to convince me to leave ministry and leave the Church, but I can’t. Even though my struggle to be recognized by Rome continues I will fight to remain a bishop of the Church because if I leave, who will protect the children who are left to fend for themselves? Can you name a bishop in the Roman Church who will? If you can, tell me and maybe I can leave in peace.

I have tried to reach out to the Vatican to tell my story and offer my help to defend victims. In November 2009 I wrote to Pope Benedict XVI telling him that based on my contacts with victims throughout the Church in the US---and by means of internet communications with victims in other countries---I did not believe that the abuse crisis was over. I stated that I believed that bishops were not reporting the facts and were still covering up abuse. When the situation in Ireland was reported in the world press I was outraged. However, I still do not believe that my brother in the episcopate, Joseph Ratzinger, is part of the problem. George Weigel’s recent article “Limits on papal power and inept subordinates” is of value here. Many outside the Church do not understand the dubiousness of the Church’s definition of Papal authority. It’s a mess really. This statement is not the moment to discuss the schizophrenic nature of the structure of canonical authority in the Roman Church. Suffice it to say that the Pope is as limited as he makes himself. Certainly the canons of the church limit the jurisdictional authority of the Pope, but the canons do not limit his ability to speak. The Pope must speak out definitively and denounce the bishops of the Church who perpetuate the sexual abuse crisis. In my opinion he should start by removing the Apostolic Nuncio to the United States.

There is another aspect of the sexual abuse crisis that we fail to acknowledge. The tolerance of sexual abuse in the Church is symptomatic of an oppressive man-dominated intellectual rapism that has crept its way into many aspects of the Church’s life. The same system of thought that excused and covered up the abuse of children is responsible for the oppression of women and the destruction of real family values in the Roman Catholic Church. If we continue to allow children, courageous women, and struggling families to be objectified and marginalized by the hierarchy (who treat them like a wrench in the cogs of some unrealistic moral superiority) we will doom humanity to repeat the fall of Eden generation after generation. We cannot move forward as a Christian community until we have the strength to admit that the fall of humanity was not the result of the weakness of a woman or the blindness of a man, but the result of the jealousy and fear of a serpent. (…a serpent who represents the arrogance of, a primordially male, material lust for power and control over others).

In order to combat and repair the (repairable) damage caused by the sexual abuse crisis, we have to begin to live and preach real love and forgiveness. We must preach not the “new” evangelization but the true evangelization. This includes dealing honestly with the moral issues that seem to strangle the breath of societal growth. It certainly includes defeating the morally and socially oppressive actions exhibited by many fearful bishops who have lost touch with reality and with the love that is Christ.

With hope for the future, I am,
+Tomas-Martin, OPD
Bishop of the Order of Penance of Saint Dominic

“Let’s talk about Sex”…and Priests

This post is the first of a series on the topic of sexuality in the Church.

Twenty years ago the rap duo “Salt n Pepa” released a song entitled “Let’s Talk About Sex.” It was written to address the seriousness of the AIDS epidemic and the need to engage in open and honest conversation with our young people concerning sexual activity. At the time, I was a student enrolled in Catholic School preparing for an upcoming school dance. The song was popular and most of the students in my class wanted it played at the dance. When we approached the student DJ, he flatly refused to play the song, figuring that his immortal soul would plummet down to the depths of hell the moment the first note of the song rang through the school hall. Undaunted, my friends and I set out to come up with a plan to play the song. We rallied troops from both our own classmates and the students in the grade below us. We’d have one of the prettiest girls in the school ask the DJ to dance and while he was in ecstasy on the dance floor, I’d sneak a copy of the single to my buddy filling in at the DJ table and he’d play the song before anyone knew what hit them. At the same time the girls would be ready to sing loudly along with the song and scream the word “socks” in place of the word “sex.” Really! I couldn’t make this up. Our plan went just as we’d hoped and the song rang out as we all sang and danced our hearts out. Of course there was hell to pay after. Our teenage minds were just mesmerized that the teachers and Sisters were actually familiar with the song and weren’t at all fooled by the not-so-subtle “socks” replacement. Sadly, the teachers didn’t take the opportunity to discuss the issues with us that the song was intended address. Instead we were disciplined for playing what was called a “vulgar song” and we were barred from attending any more dances that year.

It is twenty years later and I am amazed when “sex” is still considered a dirty word in Catholic circles. Why is it considered inappropriate to talk about sex in churches? Is it any wonder that our churches are littered with sex scandals? Perhaps if we talked more openly about sex and sexual activity, there would be fewer scandals in our churches. Perhaps if we were open about issues concerning sex and sexuality our children would be more respectful and responsible when dealing with sexual issues and feel more able to reach out for help when confronted with problems involving sex. Perhaps if sex was not considered a vulgar subject in church, more priests would be more responsible and more open about their own sexuality.

Recently I have given a few talks about topics related to sex and sexual morality. After delivering the talks, some of the listeners questioned me about what they thought was a lax approach to condemning “immoral sexual activity” such as sex before marriage. My openness in talking about sexual activity among the clergy also seemed to shock some of the listeners. After hearing some of the responses I thought it was time to “talk about sex” on the OPD blog. So today I’d like to begin a series of posts related to the topic of sex. This is part of my effort to make this topic less taboo in the Church.

Let’s begin by discussing the idea of sexuality and the priesthood. As a victim of clergy sexual abuse, you can probably imagine that I am very concerned with ensuring that the men who are in active ministry as priests have a healthy control over their sexuality. Certainly, I think many people would agree that the Church has yet to find a healthy approach to sexuality in the priesthood. For too long we have expected priests to leave their sex drives at the church steps before entering ministry. Anyone who thinks that a priest does not have any sexual desire is fooling themselves. Anyone who thinks that it is wrong for a priest to have sexual desires is just a fool. A priest is a human being and therefore a sexual being. I wish that the topic of priestly sexuality was not so taboo. If it wasn’t, I believe that I and many other victims of clergy abuse would have been spared.

If you expect your priests to be devoid of sexuality you are asking for them to be devoid of human nature. It is not impossible to serve God and Church while at the same time living a healthy sexual life. It is time that we leave behind the childish notion that our priests have to abandon their sexuality. This requirement simply forces men in the priesthood to live secret lives. I think it’s ironic that many people in the pews often criticize priests for preaching unrealistic moral codes to the congregation, yet the parishioners expect the priests to live equally unrealistic moral codes concerning their own sexuality. Certainly there are some priests who will say that their celibate lives are freeing and acceptable to them, but many others find that living a chaste life is an ongoing struggle. I say that it is not fair to ask a man to give up part of his human nature in order for him to serve humanity in God’s name.

Let’s talk about some of the common misunderstandings about the nature of priestly sexuality.

Celibacy does not mean Chastity or Abstinence from sexual activity

Most Catholics believe that diocesan priests make a vow of chastity. This is not true. Diocesan priests (parish priests) do not make vows. Religious Order priests (like Franciscans or Jesuits) make vows. Diocesan priests make promises. In the Church a vow is different from a promise. A vow is made to God. A promise is made to the bishop. In a Religious Order when a priest makes a vow of Chastity, he commits to abstain from all sexual activity. When a diocesan priest makes a promise of celibacy to his bishop, he simply promises not to marry. Even though many will argue that a promise not to marry equates to sexual abstinence, essentially a priest who engages in consensual adult sexual relations is not breaking any vow made to God or even any promise made to his bishop. Now, since the Catholic Church considers it a sin to have sex before marriage, the priest is required to confess the sin just as any other unmarried Roman Catholic who has sexual relations outside the bonds of marriage. There is no greater sin because the individual happens to be a diocesan priest.

You may remember a media story from 2009 that revolved around a priest from Florida, Fr. Alberto Cutie (pronounced koo-tee-AYE), who was stripped of his priestly faculties because he was photographed on the beach embracing and kissing a women. This particular priest was widely known. The media reported on the outrage of the Catholic people. Ultimately Fr. Cutie, left the Catholic Church and became an Episcopalian priest. I could not understand at the time why his bishop did not take the opportunity to explain that the priest was not guilty of breaking any vows, as reported in the media and widely assumed by the Catholic people. Instead, the bishop suspended him. I suspect his suspension was a result of the controversy stirred in the media and not because he was having a good time on the beach. It was certainly not related to Fr. Cutie breaking any vows or promises---because he didn’t.

Quite frankly, as a survivor of clergy sexual abuse, I was happy to see that this priest was acting out in a healthy, open way concerning his sexual desires. I hoped that the story of this priest’s situation would start a national conversation about the need to reevaluate the requirements placed on priests concerning sexual relationships. Unfortunately, the Catholic machine once again set out to discredit a healthy (and apparently happy) priest instead of addressing the real core issue. When will the bishops of the Church begin to talk openly and honestly about the real concerns of the community instead of acting like politicians worried about public relations?

So, are married priests the answer?

As a result of the Apostolic Constitution 'Anglicanorum coetibus' of Pope Benedict XVI (4 November 2009), the Roman Catholic Church now permits the creation of what can be considered “special dioceses” made up of former Anglican parishes and clergy who convert to Catholicism. This means that married Anglican priests can be ordained as Catholic priests. Even before this Apostolic Constitution, married priests from other denominations who converted to Catholicism, were eligible to be ordained as Catholic priests.

Now a system is in place in the Church for married men to become priests, will that solve the problem of a priesthood that has an intrinsically unhealthy approach to human sexuality? I say no.

Many men enter priestly formation in their college-aged years. Priestly formation is intense and requires the full commitment and attention of the student. These are ordinarily the years when other young men are dating and exploring their sexuality. The seminary system does not allow this. Instead it begins to inculcate the student into the lifestyle of sexual abstinence. I believe this is very harmful to the natural human development of the seminary student; and that it leads to sexual confusion later in life when the student is an adult in the world interacting with other adults. I also believe that it is spiritually abusive to demand that young men replace their sexual desires with spiritual practice. You cannot pray away your sexual desire. Many young men who try are burdened with feelings of guilt and unworthiness. I believe it is a crime before God to subject young men to this type of psycho-sexual torment.

It is unhealthy to ask a human being to completely ignore his sexual nature. Sex is a gift from God. I believe that until the Church respects the dignity of human sexuality in its priesthood, that it cannot expect the world at large to take anything it says about sexual morality seriously. After all, the priests of the church are never permitted to fully experience their sexuality so how can these men form any moral codes related to a topic that is totally foreign to their life experience?

I for one have permitted myself to explore my own sexuality in healthy ways. Over the years many Catholic priests have criticized me for that saying that I am guilty before God of sexual relations outside of marriage. To that I say that God owed me one healthy sexual experience for every unhealthy one that his priests gave me as a child. That usually quiets them right up. (For more about my views on clergy sexual abuse see the blog posting here) Not to mention that several Popes have fathered children (and some during their pontificate) so it seems that at least a few Pontiffs have shared my views on a healthy expression of sexuality in ministry.

I believe that we have to start dealing with sexuality among our priests in an honest, open, healthy way. I also believe that as a Church we have to adopt a more realistic sexual moral code that conforms to the reality of human nature. Sex is a gift from God that lets us share in the divine, life-creating nature. Sex is something that should be celebrated in healthy ways.

The issue of sexuality in the Ecumenical OPD

Sex is a topic that should not be taboo in the Church. It is certainly not taboo to talk about in the Ecumenical OPD circles (as you can see). In 2006 when the OPD was formed we included private vows in the statues. One vow was the vow of Chastity made for a period of one year at the start of entering the community. In 2010 when the statues were updated, that vow was removed from the requirements of the Community. This was done after carefully evaluating the nature of our lay community and because of the confusion that surrounds the truth of sexual morality in the Church. I for one am not comfortable telling two adults engaging in consensual healthy sexual relations that they are guilty of sin before God. If those adults happen to be unmarried, I believe that the decision to engage in sexual relations has to be made between them. As a minister I have been able to help many couples with decisions regarding their sexuality. I believe that many people feel comfortable to come to me for spiritual advice related to sexual matters because I have a reputation of being open and honest on this subject. Regardless of what any mainstream priest has to say about that reputation, I am happy that young people come to me seeking God’s counsel in this area…sadly many tell me that they just don’t feel comfortable talking to their local priests about sex.

What are your opinions related to the topic of priestly sexuality? You can email me directly if you’d like to share your thoughts dominicanvocations@hotmail.com

In the next few posts I will discuss other topics related to sexuality. It’s taken twenty years, but finally I can openly talk about this subject in Church. So in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa…Let’s Talk About Sex. Amen.


With hope for the future, I am,
+Bro. Tomas Martin, OPD
Presiding Minister of the OPD Community

HOLY FATHER RECEIVES ECUMENICAL DELEGATION

From the Vatican Information Service:
VATICAN CITY, 15 JAN 2011 (VIS) - This morning in the Vatican, Benedict XVI received an ecumenical delegation from Finland for the occasion of the Feast of St. Henry, the country's patron saint.

"Every year", said the Pope, addressing the group in German, "this meeting bears witness to the friendship and co-operation that exist between Lutherans and Catholics and, in general, among all Christians in your country".

"Although the goal of the ecumenical movement - complete unity in the faith - has not yet been reached", dialogue has produced many points of agreement, Benedict XVI noted. Among these he highlighted the declaration "on the doctrine of justification in the life of the Church", and gave assurances that further study of this theme will contribute, among other things, "to a shared viewpoint on the nature of the episcopal office".

"At the same time", he went on, "we are all aware that the ecumenical journey has, in some ways, become more difficult and challenging. In this light, your annual pilgrimage to Rome for the Feast of St. Henry is an important event and a stimulus to our efforts. It helps us to look back with joy at the goals we have achieved and forward to the future with the desire for responsible compromise".

"In view of the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity", the Pope concluded, "let us ask the Spirit of Truth to impel us to ever greater love and fraternity".

What do you seek?

As the new year begins I am contemplating the direction of the Community. I am reminded of an old story about an aging Master:

The Master had grown old and infirm. When his disciples begged him not to die, he said: "If I do not go, how will you ever see?"

His disciples asked him, "What is it that we fail to see when you are with us?"

The Master gave no reply. When the moment drew near for the Master to depart, they asked again, "What will we see when you are gone?"

Smiling, with a certain light in his eye, the Master uttered these words:

"All I did was sit on the bank of the river and hand out river water. When I leave, I trust you will notice the river."

~

I ask the OPD Community and its friends this question for 2011: Do you see the river?

The artwork presented with this post is "The Water Fan" by Winslow Homer

Have a Blessed New Year

The Ecumenical OPD Community wishes peace and joy to all people of good will. May your new year be blessed and may your dreams come true in this new year.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit, and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth!